We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Soap is not a condiment
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
