eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
