I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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