He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They took my balls.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
