lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
