why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
