He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My dick has a subreddit
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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