Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
