Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
