I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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