I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
