so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
