he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
