Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
