My first STD was from a foam party
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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