Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
