i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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