dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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