Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
