Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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