you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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