and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
