maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
