She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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