try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
