It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
