The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize