I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
