Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
