Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You work out of a Hotel?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
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we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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