I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I am morally bankrupt
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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