i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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