And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
