i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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