Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
