I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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