How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
