People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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