your parents love me but you hate me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
