end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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