You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
