He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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