i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
