remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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