My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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