I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish I only lived at night.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so let's talk penis.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
