just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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