I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
