fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
