Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore

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  (631): I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore http://tfl.nu/upfn
  Replies (9) Good night (1006) Bad night (2024)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive

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  (651): After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive http://tfl.nu/5g38
  Replies (16) Good night (612) Bad night (3128)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings

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  (605): For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings http://tfl.nu/sahq
  Replies (30) Good night (2867) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window

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  (704): I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window http://tfl.nu/ly7e
  Replies (13) Good night (1347) Bad night (4153)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Do I even want to know?

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  (480): My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend. (1-480): Do I even want to know? http://tfl.nu/wopv
  Replies (28) Good night (4537) Bad night (1741)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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  (248): about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me. http://tfl.nu/tnbf
  Replies (9) Good night (3947) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

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  (203): she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever. http://tfl.nu/jt2o
  Replies (8) Good night (6669) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.

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  (818): The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again. http://tfl.nu/z8ef
  Replies (11) Good night (4455) Bad night (922)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?

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  (386): At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"? http://tfl.nu/260m
  Replies (12) Good night (2161) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.

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  (760): He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes. http://tfl.nu/l52c
  Replies (4) Good night (1401) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.

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  (303): I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day. http://tfl.nu/g7z2
  Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.

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  (256): Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people. http://tfl.nu/64sc
  Replies (1) Good night (820) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.

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  (682): You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed. http://tfl.nu/c6kp
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.

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  (970): Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family. http://tfl.nu/xde2
  Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"

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  (606): And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?" http://tfl.nu/s0we
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (300)

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