honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going