Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more

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  (317): did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more http://tfl.nu/ndo9
  Replies (4) Good night (637) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.

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  (253): Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs. http://tfl.nu/k3j3
  Replies (13) Good night (1529) Bad night (3687)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The brown eye won't let me do that either.

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  (201): The brown eye won't let me do that either. http://tfl.nu/x635
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (2596)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

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  (310): I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/dkfu
  Replies (15) Good night (3896) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

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  (913): Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one.. http://tfl.nu/0qqy
  Replies (9) Good night (4390) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.

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  (770): She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college. http://tfl.nu/xmfo
  Replies (4) Good night (1863) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.

  (1-213): View more from California

  best text I've received ever.

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  (213): Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon. (1-213): best text I've received ever. http://tfl.nu/3obm
  Replies (16) Good night (5103) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed

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  (+44): Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed http://tfl.nu/9jww
  Replies (13) Good night (1414) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.

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  (850): I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this. http://tfl.nu/urhy
  Replies (2) Good night (1222) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.

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  (708): I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily. http://tfl.nu/de3q
  Replies (3) Good night (2146) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..

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  (317): It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will.. http://tfl.nu/jcgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1315) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.

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  (307): He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver. http://tfl.nu/9q9z
  Replies (10) Good night (1221) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now

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  (619): If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now http://tfl.nu/lp2e
  Replies (4) Good night (385) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness

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  (416): so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness http://tfl.nu/y6iu
  Replies (11) Good night (858) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

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  (603): Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/pfkq
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (897)

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