Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
