no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
As shirtless as possible
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
