a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
