I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
