U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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