I look better un-naked...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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