It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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