Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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