May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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