On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
