i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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