Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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