Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You don't make any sense
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