The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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