You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
