Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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