Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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