Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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